Artist's Prayer

Give us Your daily Inspiration
So, we can live a Creative Life.
And lead us away from self-doubt,
For to doubt our creativity
Is to doubt Your Voice within us.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Re-Claiming Authentic Yearnings...

Ohm Nama Shivaya
Colored Pencil on Cardboard
~ Writing that mantra in Sanskrit and English helped me find my center~

I've been pondering the subject of Authentic Yearnings as they relate to creative self-expression and life in general.... There's always a loud mental noise going on in our minds and only in moments of stillness, when the agendas of all outside demands get suspended, even for a brief instance, can become aware of something deeper that we'd like to express forth in our lives. Perhaps that's what the term 'Growing Up by Growing Down' really articulates - how much of our conscious attention and focused effort we can muster to identify and THEN follow Our Truth.... what Truly matters to US, because after all, We, OURSELVES, are the only persons we will ever be fully accountable to ~ for our lives' tapestry comprised of events, encounters, and expressions..... How do we choose to experience ourselves in time that each one of us has left here.....

I'm writing these words as much to you, Dear Reader, as to my Self.... I've come to realize that we can never relax into a comfortable oblivion of assuming that since we'd made some head way on our Authentic Yearnings, we'll continue to follow our Hearts from now on ~ I wish that was the case.... ? Or maybe not. Our Authentic Yearnings change as we change, as we move through periods of transitions, enter the next stage of our psycho-emotional development, or simply make a switch from a strawberry ice cream flavor to a rich, decadent buttery pecan..... So, too, we must go back within and check if our Authentic Yearnings from a year ago STILL are Authentic, or perhaps, unbeknownst to us had turned into 'musts' that we continue to impose upon our battered souls unaware that our once Authentic Yearnings had transformed into 'Authentic Replicas' ~ that's the expression used by sellers of 'Authentic' Rolex Replicas...

My feeling is that in this global period of transition where each one of us is immersed either first hand, or through a circle of the people close to us, in financial~economic worries ~ being able to even identify our Authentic Yearnings seems like a true Mission Impossible.... So, how do we begin to find our footing in the chaos that touches us internally, externally, or both??? How do we sooth our petrified inner youngster and find refuge and healing in creative self-expression? Even for a moment. Just for today.

I don't have 'the' answer for You. You hold it within, and that's the best answer and the only one that will work for You. I can only share my, often hesitant steps, on my own path ~ hoping that my story will encourage you to keep on going, or perhaps finding your path again. Anew. Carrying a flashlight of hope in one hand while moving to the rhythm of your heart beat with remnants of courage in the other.... one foot in front of the other...... walking on. Why? Because there's no other alternative if you want to live Your Life as Your Self. Of course that's Your decision to make in the first place.

Storms and any extreme weather conditions carry in their own definition a very valuable for us characteristic, namely they are Transitory.... sooner of later it WILL stop pouring, the violent winds WILL subside and the Sun WILL come out again. In the meantime, while I'm waiting for the winds of outer turmoil to settle down, I pray more than ever before in my life, I feel attracted to explore iconography of different religions of the world and to incorporate it into my own artworks.... I read spiritual literature and try to stay present in the NOW as much as I can.... while driving, writing, artmaking, or in the company of others.... I find free-hand writing ( at least three pages ~ AKA Morning Pages) very healing and centering, though recently I do them at different times of the day.... Spending time in nature or just going for a short walk around a neighborhood is a very powerful remedy for a so called 'inner confusion' ~ I feel that by walking I am actually walking In-Ward toward my inner Self ~ the answers always come and provide me with a much needed solace.... just for today, just for an hour.....

How do you re-connect to your Authentic Yearnings? How do you stay centered on your Path as it winds and meanders?


  1. Hope you don't mind if I follow your blog. Found you from the Artist Way blog. I'm Elena (aka Hummingbird). I like your art and thoughts as posted here.

  2. What a wonderful post, Tatiana. This resonates deeply having been on a creative path for so long. Sometimes, I have to contemplate for a while and re-connect as the journey is constantly evolving. Being with nature is a great inspiration. x

  3. Beautiful creation you've done. I often chant this mantra which to me means enlightenment. Also "May the element of this creation abide in me in full manifestation" is another interpretation of this mantra. I would think that visually creating this mantra as you did will evoke much creative power in those who view it.
    Finding posts like this helps me on my journey. Thank you, Elena.
    P.S. Your writing style on the image is awesome!